Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Understanding.

You See, the problem is......
that we don't see eye-to-eye.
and on top of that absence,
we don't agree in too many ways.

A simple kiss used to heal all of this;
but I'm looking for a crutch these days...
clutching for a dutch to relax my brain,
cuz it's only cloud filled outlooks...
& thunderstorm thoughts under the Sun's rays.

I try to write you letters
in an attempt to paint pictures,
but out of that comes books...
and in my life I have trouble turning the page.

Part of my problem is this...
I hold onto the past.
Both the good and bad,
Both the happy and sad,
the pretty shit...
and the pretty fucking ugly shit.
Hey, at least I'm fair, right?

With the same emotional arms
that I squeeze fond memories,
I choke the shit out of grudges.
Big ones, small ones...
fresh and forgotten seemingly.
And I'm not saying it's right...
...but dammit it's justified.
Especially when I have been paying
for the past...for far too long,
one that I wasn't even a part of
but has me singing blues songs...
...is it right? I should understand?

Well understand this: I feel you...
I feel you in ways that you don't know,
understand you in ways that I won't show...
from a stance of "never love again",
to the "let's see how this is gon' go".
Because I know...
...I used to be you.