See, God...

I just need a sign.
Far too inquisitive
to keep quiet and go along for the ride...
blind.

It's the "not knowing" that hurts:

Walking sightless with faith as my 'light'
is a plight that I've struggled to visualize...
Especially if I am considering
what my eyes have already seen.

Bearing witness to
men being killed...
laid to rest
for being stand-up individuals.
Laying eyes upon
women losing their lives
for being mothers,
lovers, and wives.
Watching children who
have no one else better
to emulate than
entertainers, murderers, and drug dealers.
Sometimes they are not differing characters.

Just give me a sign.
Even if it's that
You hate me...
or You love me...
that's all well & fine -
just give me a sign.

It has been nearly thirty
long, hard years:
feels like far too long to wait
to see if it's divine intervention
or merely a fucked up fate.
See, God...I just want to SEE. God.