the first time (the last time)

I have thought
and dreamed
and imagined
exactly how this would be.

And right now
in this moment
it's here upon me.

I must admit
it's everything
and more
than I ever wished for.

The embraces,
loving words,
adulation,
and attention...
it's almost overwhelming.

But I appreciate being appreciated.

This is the first time
I've ever felt like this.
Might not make sense,
but it warms my cold heart.

It's sad that it must come to this,
that I had to leave to bring you back
to your senses,
to your family,
to me.

As I lie down with closed eyes,
I can see perfectly clear...
that I am surrounded by love.
I just wish
I had the chance
to smile at you,
or the words
to say thank you.